I have so many random topics floating around in my head that I have no idea where to start. Among them: my Michael Jackson murder theory, why Stan Lee's Silver Surfer books from the 60s are the best comics ever published, the strange stupidity that men do (like the guy I just heard about who lost part of his finger when he was loading a toygun with gun powder. I'm sure he had a good reason. Right?), the fact that you can go to just about ANY message board on IMDB and see a Big Lebowski reference, and lots of other stuff that probably explains why I have trouble getting anything productive done some days.
I believe I'll deal with this Megan Fox character first. Since anyone reading this is on the internet I know you know who she is. Go do a (insert name of your search engine here) search and take a look at some photos of Ms. Fox (yeah, like any guy reading this is going to have to be told twice). Pretty, without question, but tell me she doesn't look like an android. A computer generated image at best. There's no life in the girl's eyes, her face is typically devoid of anything resembling a real human emotion, and her skin is eerily flawless. All signs point to some form of engineering outside of the typical plastic form seen in most Hollywood starlets. Interviews with her seem to bear this theory out as well. If she doesn't sound somewhat robotic to you, well then we're not listening to the same person. I think someone is off to the side typing responses into a computer and hitting "send" every time she talks.
Of course, maybe she's just one of those impossibly pretty girls who have never been forced by society to cultivate any real talent or personality because guys just love to stare at her and say, "wow, she so purty. Here, take my money" (The fact that this technique has worked so well for so many women for so many centuries lends heavy credibility to those who argue the superiority of the female of the species. ). But hey, what's the fun in that? I say she's an android and that's the bottom line!
Don't get me wrong: I'm not judging her and I don't begrudge her anything she earns or is given in this world. I say take what you can get as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else and, in the scheme of things, I don't see anything too horribly wrong with anything she's done. Except those tattoos.
What IS with the tattoos? Women who go for the newest trend in putting oddly placed blocks of text all over their bodies need to realize that, although we appreciate their attempts to bolster teenage literacy, it is nothing but a distraction and it just looks strange. Also, they will have to live with the mis-spelled words for the rest of the life of their mortal bodies (see Hayden Panetierre). "We will all laugh at gilded butterflies"? WTF is that supposed to be, Megan? Who the hell wants to look at a hot girl and have to READ at the same time? It's like taking a Picasso and adding a couple of dogs playing poker across the bottom. Girls, QUIT DRAWING ON YOURSELVES!
Okay, I think I'm done for now. Pretty much I figure typing Megan Fox into my blog over and over again will get a few hits, anyway. First I hook 'em in, you see, THEN we can get to the good stuff.
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